Earlier this year, Carey let me bring my tomato plants by his place to give me a few pointers on the ins and outs of container gardening. Carey was patient and did not judge me, even though my poor plants were clearly lacking the water and nutrients they needed. Instead, he helped me re-pot my plants and gave me an overview on tomato care basics. Not only did he save my tomato plants from the brink of death but he also gave me a lesson on what it means to care for a living thing. Watching the precision with which he pruned his plants and the time he took to pat fertilizer into each container was extremely moving; perhaps because such thoughtfulness these days is rare. I went home with expertly-staked tomato plants, a bag of fertilizer, and newfound faith in humanity.
This episode, Carey shares a whole lot of wisdom with us - wisdom from the garden and from the sacred geography of where he's from, as he says. We talked about the function of food in his family of origin, and specifically about how this okra saute is Carey's present day take on tradition. We also talked about some of the grief Carey has experienced over the past six months, with the loss of income, shifts happening in the type of work he does, and the deaths of friends. We discussed current events and the necessity, through all life's challenges, of simply being.
"I think just being truly present with people and trying not to be judgmental and trying not to fix. Realizing that relationships require, just like the plants do, requires a process and a “being with” that can’t just happen from “let me go talk to you and tell you all my opinions and back out.” I think that’s something that right now, with COVID and some of the political dynamics being so polarized, it really made me aware that our human connection is so important."
Carey is one of the most knowledgeable and skillful people that I know. He loves to learn. He has used COVID as an opportunity to ground himself and disconnect from social media. To get back into the garden, to try his hand at pickling and fermenting, and to reconnect with others. My favorite part was hearing him talk about the importance of deep listening and critical thinking.
“Binary thinking is easy; nuanced conversation is hard. When you interact with somebody who has a different life experience, you may understand how they got there. I may not agree with it, but I understand at least how they got there and what’s at stake for them to unpack that. It’s a hard thing to do, and I think that’s why we don’t do it a lot. It requires courage and vulnerability that sometimes we’re not ready for.”
For more information about the contact hypothesis, as discussed in this episode, read this!
To follow Carey's adventures teaching accessible yoga, check out his website. And don't forget to check out his music!
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